


The Work of Knowing

by Robinade



Series: Looking for the time of your life [1]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Blow Jobs, Chess, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, Fluff and Angst, Hand Jobs, Happy Ending, Kid Fic, M/M, New York City
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-23
Updated: 2015-10-23
Packaged: 2018-04-27 11:46:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5047291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Robinade/pseuds/Robinade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What starts as a one night stand could turn into something more, except Dorian lets his fear of intimacy get the best of him. Now he has one chance to reunite with the man of his dreams and standing in the way is a pint-sized protector-- Cullen's ten year old daughter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Work of Knowing

It was Friday night and Barracuda was overflowing with patrons. It wasn't Dorian's favorite gay bar in Manhattan, but the drinks were decent and the bathroom clean, even if the decor was a little bizarre. He'd never understood why Americans were so fond of antlers. 

Dorian circled the crowd a few times and actually had a very pleasant, if shouted, conversation about the origins of distilled liquor with a woman who had an entire row of lip piercings. It wasn’t until midnight that a man caught his eye. He was blond and pale with close-cropped hair that was still just long enough to hint at curls. The bar had enough variety that his buttoned up shirt and slacks didn't set him apart, but the hunched posture and how his shoulders were nearly level with his ears did. 

The man really was _extraordinarily_ pretty. That, of course, had nothing to do with why Dorian magnanimously decided to go to the rescue. Dorian slid up to the bar next to him, incidentally blocking a predatory-looking older man in leather from approaching the blond. The look he received for the impeded advance was poisonous enough to have Dorian nostalgic of his favorite club in London. 

"I do believe I've seen that expression before," he said, loudly enough to be heard over the music and chatter. "It was a National Geographic special and the gazelle was being hunted by several lions."

The blond frowned at him, but he looked less harried so Dorian considered it a win. Dorian continued, "Let me guess-- you're here for a friend as moral support, tragically abandoned as they spot some tender young thing across the bar. I'm sure we could send out a search party for other heterosexuals. You can't possibly be the only one here."

The other man raised his eyebrows and took a deliberate drink out of his glass. It was violently red and Dorian had difficulty not staring at his mouth. There was a scar that cut into the other man's upper lip and he wanted to lick it. "And if there was a least one less heterosexual than you think?" 

Well. Dorian wasn't often mistaken, but never let it be said that he couldn’t admit when he was wrong. "Then I would apologize if I was overstepping.” He tipped his head to indicate the thwarted suitor. “I can leave if you like." 

"No! I don't- I mean- Balls." The blond sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck "Your intervention is-- appreciated. Really. I'm Cullen," he added, extending a hand to shake. "I’m afraid I’m still very new to all this.”

Dorian was unbearably charmed. “That’s all right. We can ease you into it.”

 

They stumbled into Cullen’s apartment, still kissing. Cullen shoved the door closed behind them and blindly reached out to switch the light on. Dorian backed him up against the door and dragged his tongue up the side of the blond’s neck. He was rewarded with a strangled groan and moved on to place a series of tender bites along the line of the other man’s jaw before dropping to his knees. 

It was the work of a moment to unzip and pull down the other man's trousers. He wore sensible grey boxer briefs that nonetheless hugged Cullen's hips and molded around his cock in an attractive way. Dorian pressed teasing kisses right above the waistband.

"You... You look really good down there," Cullen said breathlessly, petting gently through Dorian's hair. With his other hand he cupped Dorian’s jaw and stroked his mustache gently with his thumb.

Dorian hummed smugly as he carefully pulled the underwear down. Cullen was still mostly soft so he could swallow his cock all the way down and enjoy the surprised groan Cullen gave out. Dorian liked the feeling of cock throbbing and lengthening in his mouth. He stayed with his nose pressed to the wiry blond curls at Cullen’s groin, sucking fiercely, until it had grown to the point that it was nudging the back of his throat. He pulled off to catch his breath and wrapped his hand around the base of the cock, then put his mouth back and swirled his tongue around the head. 

Cullen had good blowjob etiquette, Dorian was pleased to discover. He pulled Dorian’s hair once, but immediately let go before Dorian could say anything and apologized, “Sorry, sorry.” He kept his hands off entirely after that, one holding onto the doorknob until his knuckles turned white and the other at his mouth where he was biting the fleshy part of his thumb to muffle the noises he made. Dorian was pleased at the reaction and swallowed his cock again as deep as he could and let himself groan at the stretch. He set up a nice rhythm, slow and wet.

“Oh God,” Cullen choked out at the vibration around his cock. With his other hand Dorian had been gently squeezing and rolling his balls; now he could feel them drawing up as Cullen got close to coming. 

Dorian pulled off entirely, replacing his mouth with his hand as he stood up. “You should know,” he said with a little regret for ending it so abruptly, “I don’t swallow unless it’s going to be reciprocated.”

Cullen’s voice was strained. “That’s fair. I think it’s a little too advanced for me right now.” He chuckled a little breathlessly and Dorian had to kiss him again. To his pleasant surprise, Cullen responded eagerly to his kisses, not put off by the taste of cock in Dorian’s mouth or the faintly bitter flavor of precome. 

With Cullen’s cock wet with saliva it was easy to keep a slick and steady rhythm. Dorian had only gotten the other man’s shirt partially unbuttoned before starting the blowjob but he kissed and licked what he could reach. He sank his teeth into the other man’s collarbone then soothed the bite marks with his tongue.

"Maybe we should-- I do have a bed," Cullen gasped.

Dorian didn’t want to wait. "Plenty of time for that later."

He brought Cullen off right there against the door, still mostly dressed. He actually enjoyed getting the bulk of the mess on the other man's shirt; debouched was a good look for the blond. Cullen sagged against the door with a groan, appreciatively patting Dorian's chest, his shoulders. 

"I believe now is a good time to move to that bed you mentioned," Dorian said with satisfaction. 

Cullen licked his lips, which were red and swollen in a distracting way. "Mmmm, yes please."

Dorian stepped back so Cullen could push his slacks the rest of the way down and bend over to unlace his shoes before kicking the whole mess away. Dorian made no effort to hide how much he was enjoying the impromptu strip show. 

Cullen raised his eyebrows at him while he finished unbuttoned his shirt. "Am I going to be the only one naked tonight?"

"Oh, I don't know. Will you make it worth my while?" Dorian was mostly joking. Back at the bar, Cullen had admitted that his interest in men had so far been theoretical and had only slept with women before.

Cullen rolled his eyes. "I'm not going to run away screaming if I see another man naked, you know." He stalked forward and pulled Dorian into a hungry kiss, licking into his mouth and swallowing his gasp. He slid his hands under the waistband of Dorian’s corduroys and squeezed his bum, making Dorian give a startled groan. 

Cullen pulled back from the kiss to grin at him. "Your mustache tickles,” he said and licked his upper lip. 

There was a witty retort ready on his tongue but then Cullen started unbuttoning Dorian's vest, and the look of determination on his face more than a little flattering. Dorian pulled his shirt underneath up over his head while Cullen unfastened the row of buttons on his trousers. After that he could kick off his trendy ankle boots and strip out of the skinny trousers and slim black briefs underneath. 

The last thing Dorian did was to pull the rings off his fingers. He hesitated for a moment, clutching them in his fist. Few of his amorous liaisons of late required doing more than dropping trou. At this point he felt more naked without his rings than without his trousers. Dorian let out a breath and let them drop into the bowl on the entryway table with Cullen's keys. 

The wood floors were cool under his bare feet. The apartment was small like all New York apartments, with a bathroom right off the entryway he could see and a narrow galley kitchen to the right. The rest of the space was a living room with a small dining table set in the near side, a couch and tv on the far side, and two doors leading off to the left. 

Curiosity had always been one of his more damning traits but the light from the entryway didn't illuminate much more than that. Dorian realized that Cullen had to be making good money to be able to live in Midtown, but to afford a two bedroom was quite something. 

"Coming?" Cullen said over his shoulder as he tossed all the clothes haphazardly over the couch on the way to the second bedroom. Dorian resisted the urge to make a tasteless joke. 

Inside was a truly lovely king-size bed. It furnished the entire room, leaving only enough of an aisle to get to the tiny side table and closet. Dorian wondered how it was ever brought into the place, considering they were on the third floor and the building had no elevator. It was worth it, Dorian thought, flopping down on the bed with his arms spread wide.

“Look at _you_ ,” Cullen said softly.

Before Dorian could be embarrassed by the nearly worshipful look on the other man's face, Cullen crawled onto the bed. He scratched up Dorian's thighs-- lightly, but enough to send a zing to Dorian's cock-- and pressed a few sucking kisses above his belly button. The stubble on Cullen's jaw and throat scraped a little against his cock, which in no way dampened Dorian's arousal.

"Get up here before you start giving me the wrong idea," Dorian groaned. Cullen's expression turned obstinate and Dorian rolled his eyes. “As much I'd enjoy initiating you into the legion of cocksuckers--” Cullen muffled a laugh into Dorian's belly-- “I'm too impatient to do a proper job of it. Get up here and kiss me.”

Cullen didn’t hurry, instead leaving a trail of sucking bite marks up his stomach and chest that hurt in the best way. Eventually Cullen settled on top of him, Dorian’s thighs cradling his hips. Dorian was unable to hold in an embarrassing whine when Cullen scraped his teeth over Dorian’s neck and he rocked up into Cullen for some friction on his aching cock. Cullen shivered a little, still sensitive. 

“Let me--” Cullen murmured. He licked his own palm and reached down to wrap his hand around Dorian's cock. Cullen’s grip was firm and perfect and with a little twist at the head of Dorian’s cock. He tried to keep his eyes open because Cullen was watching him but Dorian’s eyes fluttered shut as his orgasm tore through him. 

Cullen slumped onto the bed to Dorian’s side and they both lay there attempting to catch their breath. Eventually Dorian rolled to face the other man and admired his flushed and smiling face. His hair was curled with sweat at his temples. "Should we wash up?" he asked. 

"One moment," Cullen said and rolled off the bed. He came back with a wet hand towel and two bottles of water.

"Aren't you prepared," Dorian said. "Were you a boyscout?"

"Maybe in another life," Cullen said with a smirk.

In short order they were clean and hydrated. Dorian was wondering if maybe he should get up and start collecting his clothes when, to his shock, Cullen pulled up the blanket from the foot of the bed to cover them both. He manhandled Dorian onto his other side and spooned up behind him. Dorian grumbled a little about being made the little spoon without being asked but Cullen just chuckled and wrapped an arm around his waist, pulling him closer. 

Dorian didn't have anything against post-coital cuddling but he was sorely out of practice. He was sure he'd be staring at the window curtains for hours when he surprised himself by sighing into sleep within minutes.

 

He woke up still in the same position, feeling Cullen curled up behind him like they were a pair of commas. Dorian was calculating the odds of Cullen waking up in a gay panic-- probably slim, as the man hadn't had that much to drink and seemed a fairly reasonable person-- when Cullen nuzzled the back of his neck.

“You're awake,” Cullen said. “I was going to wake you up with my mouth on you.” He slid a hand from the top of Dorian's thigh up to his chest and gently pinched Dorian's right nipple.

Dorian felt a flash of heat in his groin, going from still drowsy to wide awake as his cock started to harden. He glanced desperately at the clock on the nightstand-- just gone ten, he didn't have to be at work until one, thank god. Breathlessly, he said, "I'd hate to disappoint you. I could close my eyes and pretend to be asleep."

Cullen pushed the blankets away and nudged Dorian onto his back so he could crawl between Dorian's bent legs. He pressed a kiss to the inside of Dorian's knee. "No, that's all right. I like having your eyes on me," he said with a heated look. 

Dorian groaned and put a hand over his eyes. "I can't believe I ever thought you were shy, you wicked thing." He couldn't see Cullen's face but the smirk was nearly palpable. 

Cullen was apparently not the sort to hesitate, because there was an exhale of hot breath that made his cock twitch and then Cullen was wrapping his lips around the head. Dorian made an embarrassing high-pitched noise when the other man tongued his slit. 

"That's an interesting flavor," Cullen mused, pulling off and licking his lips. 

Dorian propped himself up on his elbows to look at the other man. "You never tasted yourself?"

"Not since I was a teenager. And that was shamefully long ago."

Dorian snorted and touched the crow's feet at the corner of the other man's eyes. "You're hardly ancient, Cullen."

"Yes, well," Cullen muttered. He kissed Dorian's palm and added, "You can put your hands in my hair, I like a little pulling." 

Dorian carded his fingers through the other man’s blond hair and pulled slightly. Cullen arched into it. “Just like that,” he said, panting a little. His mouth was close enough to Dorian’s cock that his breath puffed hot and wet over the head. Dorian thought he might die from lust.

Cullen wrapped his hand around Dorian’s cock and jerked him a few times, firm and tight, before lowering his mouth and parting his lips sliding down to meet his fingers. Then he started to bob his head. The hot wet suction would have been enough to push Dorian near the edge, but combined with the noises... Pleased little humming sounds to begin with as Cullen got a steady rhythm going, then groans as he took Dorian deeper and deeper into his throat. He wanted to warn Cullen that he didn’t need to overreach himself, but who was he to bridle such enthusiasm? 

He did draw the line at surprise facials, however, so Dorian urged him off before coming with a wild cry. Cullen didn’t go far, hiding his face in Dorian’s hip and shuddering. 

“Cullen--Cullen, are you all right?” Dorian asked, still gasping. The other man was curled around Dorian’s legs, panting, and Dorian then saw the mess on Cullen stomach and his slowly softening cock. That Cullen had come untouched while sucking him-- “Oh my _god_ ,” he whimpered. His cock was spent but it throbbed with an interest so fervent it was painful.

Cullen chuckled breathlessly. "That was an experience,” he said. 

"And _how_ ," Dorian said. He stroked his hand through Cullen's hair and it came away wet. "You've got spunk in your hair," he said blankly.

The two stared at each other for a moment before laughing. Cullen stole the pillow from under his head and playfully hit Dorian with it. "Is this how you initiate a man into the legion of cocksuckers?" he demanded, causing another wave of laughter. Dorian laughed until tears leaked out of his eyes. Next to him Cullen was grinning and achingly beautiful, even red-faced and sweaty and covered in bodily fluids. 

"Well, I was going to offer the first shower to you, but that ship has clearly sailed," Cullen said, gently tugging on a lock of Dorian's tousled hair before trotting off bare-arsed to the bathroom.

Dorian watched him go with interest before curling up under the duvet and enjoying the afterglow. It was barely ten minutes later when Cullen was nudging him up and shooing him off to wash up. 

Dorian was still a little bleary so he didn't think much of the small brightly colored shampoo bottles or the pink sponge in the shower. It didn't hit him until he was staring bemusedly at the child-sized electric toothbrush shaped like Spiderman. A father? Well, Cullen certainly qualified as a hot dad, that was for sure. Dorian didn't think of it much beyond that, figuring it wasn't his business. Instead he tried to tame his unruly hair, with limited success. There weren't any extra toothbrushes but Dorian gargled water with some toothpaste and felt moderately better. 

He exited with a towel around his waist and Cullen was waiting for him outside the bathroom with his clothes from last night. They were folded neatly and smelled faintly of lavender. 

Dorian stared at the other man. 

"I freshened these up in the dryer," Cullen said cheerfully. "They shouldn’t be too wrinkled." He breezed past Dorian into the bedroom with a handful of linens, presumably to change the bed sheets with. 

Dorian was still standing there clutching the clothes. They were warm from the dryer. He shook his head and dressed quickly right there in the entryway, grabbing his rings from the dish on the side table. He was fighting the sudden urge to leave. The only thing that stopped him was the thought of how Cullen would react. What had happened between them was a kind of deflowering, and the feeling that came from being abandoned and cast aside so soon after the act was not one he wanted to inflict on another person. Let alone one as sweet as Cullen. He did his best to swallow his panic, not even sure where the feeling came from. 

Dorian turned his attention to the apartment as a form of distraction. His bet was that the apartment was actually a condo or co-op that Cullen owned, if it had its own laundry facilities. If so, Cullen was either much wealthier than he dressed or very good with finances. 

In daylight, Dorian could see more evidence of a child being another resident of the apartment. Several small jackets and hats on the coat rack, a small purple desk set in the corner by the couch with a fistful of colored pencils and some kind of robot dog. The DVD shelf next to the television seemed to be nothing but Disney and Pixar movies Dorian noted as he snooped around. 

The photos on the walls showed a young girl. He hadn't spent time with children since he was one, so he had no way of telling her age beyond the small, round face. Eight, maybe? There was one baby photo where she was with a man and a woman; the man looked like a younger Cullen with dark hair and a stronger jaw while the woman was clearly the mother, she had the same light brown skin and curly black hair. There didn't seem to be any other adult in recent photos aside from Cullen himself. Not that Dorian thought Cullen was the deceitful type, but he'd been the secret fling on the side before-- more often then not, actually-- and it was beginning to wear on his sunny disposition. 

Feeling a little guilty for doubting the other man, Dorian rifled through the kitchen cupboards until he found some surprisingly decent coffee. Caffeine snob that he was, he kept hunting until he unearthed a French press rather than use the ancient coffee maker. The French press was clearly a Christmas gift, considering that it still bore holiday ribbons. 

Cullen poked his head into the kitchen and said hopefully, "Is that coffee I smell?"

"Just a moment." Dorian said, flashing a brief smile. The coffee maker gurgled away, producing the hot water he was going to use in the French press-- the only possible use for a coffee maker in Dorian's opinion. 

Cullen leaned against the kitchen counter next to him. He looked very handsome and wholesome in his rust-colored button down and grey trousers. “I regret to inform you," he said, "that there is no food in the house. My daughter and I mostly live off takeout and frozen meals, but we finished off the last of the hot pockets yesterday.” 

Dorian, hiding his relief, said, “Say no more. I shan’t trespass any further on your hospitality.” He continued over Cullen’s sputtered protestations, “I should be heading to work anyway, I’ve a staff meeting at noon.”

Cullen nodded regretfully. “I need to pick up Sofia.” So that was the girl’s name, Dorian thought. Not that it mattered. “I've left her with my sister long enough."

 

Of course it turned out that they were both taking the C line to Central Park, and there was nothing for it but for them to ride together. Dorian silently cursed himself for not insisting that he had to take the M line instead-- the Met was clear across the Park from the 81st St stop so it would have been a reasonable assertion. 

But the other man looked so pleased that Dorian hadn't the heart to disappoint him. And then he'd had the nerve to look _shy_ when their hands brushed as they entered the train. It was clear Cullen was terrible at one night stands if he was developing an attachment so soon-- Dorian really needed to bring things to an end. 

They were at the entrance to the Shakespeare Garden when Cullen shaded his eyes from the bright autumn light and squinted down the path. “There she is, in the red Baymax backpack,” he said. It was a statement that meant nothing to Dorian, but he did see a little girl with a red backpack standing next to a woman who bore a faint resemblance to Cullen and had a baby on a sling. Cullen walked towards them a few steps before apparently realizing that Dorian hadn’t followed and turned back. “Dorian?”

“This is a terrible idea,” he said. “Not that last night wasn’t a pleasant interlude. But it’s time to return to the real world, where you don’t introduce one night stands to your _daughter_.” Dorian couldn’t believe he had to spell it out. “I’m barely more than a stranger to you, Cullen! It’s just going to get messy if we let this fantasy spin out any longer.”

It was like watching a wall come down, seeing the smile fall off Cullen’s face. “I see,” he said. 

“I’m glad that you do.” Dorian started to cross his arms but didn’t want to give the impression that he was feeling defensive. He turned the motion into a painfully awkward wave of farewell. “Thank you for a... pleasant evening.” 

Cullen's face looked to be carved in stone. “And to you,” he replied. “Have a good day at work,” he added with utterly impersonal politeness. Then he turned on his heel and walked away. He didn’t look back. 

Dorian left. 

He made it all the way to the East end of Turtle Pond before turning around. By the time he made it back to the Garden he was running, but Cullen had already left. There was no sign of him or his family. 

 

It was late by the time Dorian arrived at Vivienne’s Upper East Side condo. The staff meeting at the Met had run long and he didn’t even know why he’d been required to attend. He was in the conservation and scientific research department, not some moronic curator. 

And all right, so perhaps he’d stopped at a bar or three to drown his sorrows on the way back. 

“My dear, you smell like cheap gin and self pity,” Vivienne said, not looking up from her book. “Do bathe yourself before coming to bed.” 

Dorian grumbled about it but he did feel better by the time he crawled between the sheets. “I met the perfect man,” he said. 

“And ran screaming in the opposite direction, I presume,” Vivienne said mildly. 

Dorian ignored her. “He was sweet. I’ve never been with a man so sweet. It couldn’t possibly have worked out, I’d have eaten him alive.” 

“Do you realize how amazingly self-absorbed it is to believe that you ruin everything you touch?” 

“I’m going to die alone with ten cats.” 

“My dear, you’re allergic to cats." 

“I’m not actually allergic, that’s just what I told your decorator so she’d stop trying to foist her cats’ offspring on me,” Dorian said. He curled up with his head next to Vivienne’s hip and she gently stroked his hair. 

**Author's Note:**

> Always down to chat about Dragon Age on my [tumblr](http://robinade.tumblr.com).


End file.
